50 Best Dad Jokes — The Best Dad Jokes (2019) – Parade

It takes a certain kind of humor to truly appreciate a good, solid dad joke. And by good, we obviously mean bad. Ridiculously bad. So bad that people are left shaking their heads. So bad that if any semblance of chuckling follows, it’s the awkward kind of laughter. The kind where bystanders, all at the same time, are making eye contact and looking for an exit. Fortunately for those who appreciate such uncomfortable guilty pleasures in life, we have 50 of the best dad jokes to share with you!

If you are the type of jokester who is known to nudge your pal in the ribs after making a quip, while asking, “Do you get it?”—you’re for sure in the right place! Dad jokes aren’t just for the extroverted, unconcerned fathers of the world. Instead, they’re for anyone who enjoys cringeworthy moments followed by someone in our lives begging for us to shut our mouths, because we’re “oh my gosh, so embarrassing.” Wear it with pride, fellow cornballs! We lost the right to be referred to as cool long, long ago. So sit back, but not too far, and enjoy reading (and obviously laughing) along to these 50 amazing dad jokes!

• Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!
• What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
• What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
• Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
• How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor.
• Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels.
• What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.
• What did the police officer say to his belly-button? You’re under a vest.
• What do you call it when a group of apes start a company? Monkey business.
• My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe –

• What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet? Reali-tea.
• What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.
• Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.
• What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.
• What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas.
• My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up.
• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.
• Why do some couples go to the gym? Because they want their relationship to work out.
• What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.
• What’s the most detail-oriented ocean? The Pacific.

Related: Great Dad gifts

• Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
• How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
• My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
• Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
• When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.

Related: 50 Funny and Inspiring Quotes About Dads 

• Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.
• Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
• What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alphawetical.
• What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.
• Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.

  

• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.
• Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
• How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.

Related: 17 Dinners to Show Dad He’s a Real Winner 

• Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.
• 5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
• Why did the bedding hide their relationship? They just wanted something pillow-key!
• You’re American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, but what are you while you’re in the bathroom? European.
• I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.
• Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.

• What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.
• It takes guts to be an organ donor.
• What does “Rockin’ Robin” do when she’s bored? Tweet.
• I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
• How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle.

Parade Daily

Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox.

• Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
• Why were the utensils stuck together? They were spooning.
• What’s a crafty dancer’s favorite hobby? Cutting a rug.
• How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.
• What kind of music do chiropractor’s like? Hip pop.

Are you still groaning? Great! Mission accomplished. For even more laughs, here are the 15 funniest comedies on Netflix right now!

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Source link

Bài viết 50 Best Dad Jokes — The Best Dad Jokes (2019) – Parade đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

source https://funface.net/best-jokes/50-best-dad-jokes-the-best-dad-jokes-2019-parade/